What if the money lessons we’re trying to teach our kids are accidentally creating money stories they’ll have to unravel as adults?
Most of us learned about money through trial and error. We inherited money stories from our families, picked up beliefs about success, scarcity, self-worth, and hard work, and** often spend years untangling those stories as adults.**
But what if we could help the next generation—our kids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews—build healthier foundations from the very beginning?
I recently had a fascinating conversation on the Money is Emotional podcast with David Delisle, creator of The Awesome Stuff, TEDx speaker, bestselling author, and passionate advocate for helping families connect money with what truly matters.
David summed up the intersection of our work beautifully: “You’re helping adults unwind a money story that got passed down to them. I’m trying to help kids never get that story in the first place.”
YES. Because Money is Emotional, even for kids.
Money Isn't Really About Money
David was a self-described “money nerd” from an early age. But some of his most powerful money lessons didn’t come from financial books. They came from watching his dad. David remembers watching his father work extremely hard at jobs he didn't particularly enjoy.
One day, David asked him if he liked his work.
His dad's response stuck with him: “Of course I don’t. This is work. If I liked it, it wouldn’t be work.”
As David told me, “Work has to be something you hate” is a terrible lesson to teach a child. But his dad wasn't trying to teach him that lesson. That's the tricky thing about money stories. Kids don't always receive the lesson we think we're teaching.
I experienced something similar growing up. I heard messages like, “Be careful with that toy. Your father worked hard to pay for it.” My parents were teaching me to appreciate and take care of my possessions. What I unconsciously absorbed was: You have to work hard to make or deserve money, and the things that money can buy.
That belief followed me into adulthood.
When I started my own business, I struggled with the fact that I loved what I was doing. Making good money doing something fun felt wrong because, somewhere deep inside me, money was still connected to hard work and struggle. Isn't it crazy how those things get in there?
What Are We Really Teaching Our Kids?
Parents say things like:
“We can't afford that.”
“Money doesn't grow on trees.”
“That's too expensive.”
Usually, we're trying to teach restraint and responsible money management, but David points out that a child may hear something completely different. They may hear scarcity. They may hear shame. They may begin connecting money to their identity or self-worth.
As David said during our conversation, “We don't realize what we're passing down to our kids because we don't know how they're going to interpret it.”
This doesn't mean you need to freak out and analyze every sentence you've ever uttered about money in front of your children. It means we can become more conscious of the stories we're creating.
Teach Values Before Rules
One of my favorite things about David's work is that he doesn't start with complicated financial concepts. He starts with values.
His entire Awesome Stuff philosophy began in a toy store with his sons and one simple question: “Is this my Awesome Stuff?”
Not: *Do I want it? *But: Is this what I value?
When his boys were very young, David would even translate prices into chocolate bars. A toy might cost the equivalent of 12 or 15 chocolate bars. Suddenly, an abstract number had meaning to a five-year-old. Would you rather have the teddy bear or 15 chocolate bars?
And, most importantly, there was no right or wrong answer. The goal was to help them understand the decision they were making. That simple idea eventually became something much bigger:** teaching kids to recognize what truly matters to them.**
The Stuff We Want Isn't Always the Stuff We Love
David does a fascinating exercise when he speaks at schools. He asks kids to think about something they REALLY wanted and eventually got. Then he asks how many still loved it a week later. Hands start going down. A month later? More hands disappear. A year later? Some of the kids can't even remember what they got for Christmas last year.
But certain things remain. Their dog. A favorite bike they ride almost daily. Something connected to a special experience. Those are the things that actually mean something.
As David explained, we tend to think about our possessions only in terms of their financial cost. But there's another cost we rarely consider: our attention.
Everything we own takes a little bit of our attention. When we have too much stuff, the things we really love can get buried underneath everything else. And this isn't just a lesson for kids!
The Never-Enough Trap
David watched his dad achieve many of the things people associate with financial success: a dream home, a Harley, exotic travel. But there was always something else to chase. David later noticed the same pattern in himself. He bought real estate. Then a bigger house. Then another bigger house. Eventually he realized those houses weren't making him any happier.
He said: “If you're just chasing the thing, there will never be a point in time where you have enough.”
Today's kids are growing up in an environment where that chase is more intense than ever. When we were kids, keeping up with the Joneses meant comparing ourselves with neighbors, friends, or maybe the kids at school. As David pointed out, today's kids are keeping up with everyone in the world.
And some of what they're comparing themselves to isn't even real. They're seeing carefully curated snapshots of people displaying lifestyles, wealth, experiences, and sometimes possessions they don't even own. Kids don't necessarily understand that. Frankly, sometimes adults don't either!
Teaching kids to recognize their Awesome Stuff gives them an internal compass in a world constantly trying to convince them that they need more.
Financial Literacy Is Important, but It's Not Enough
Saving. Investing. Spending less than you make. Giving. These concepts matter.
But as David said, most of the mechanics of personal finance are actually quite simple. Knowing what to do isn't usually the problem. People don't go into credit card debt because nobody ever told them debt could cause problems. We don't neglect our savings because we don't understand that saving money is probably a good idea.
As David put it: “Money isn't about following rules. It's all emotional.”
Sir, you are speaking my language!
You can teach a child every financial rule in the book, but if you ignore their emotions, values, identity, and money stories, you're missing an enormous part of financial education.
Give Kids Stories and Conversations
David has taken these ideas and turned them into creative tools for families. His graphic novel, The Golden Quest: Your Journey to a Richer Life, teaches kids about money through storytelling.
His Awesome Stuff Discovery Cards give families conversation starters around money, values, and life. I asked him why he chose stories and conversations instead of traditional financial education.
His answer was simple: “We learn better through story and conversation.”
David originally got the idea for the graphic novel while volunteering in his kids' school library. He watched children run straight to the graphic novel section. Instead of fighting it, he thought: Why not give kids what they want?
The same philosophy applies to the Discovery Cards. There's no “right” answer to the questions. Parents, kids, and even grandparents can answer them together and discover how differently each generation thinks about money and what matters most.
Money conversations don't have to feel like lectures. They can actually be fun!
Giving Is Part of Being Rich
I was especially happy that one of David's four core money principles is giving.
His four rules are essentially: identify your Awesome Stuff, save first, send your money off to work through investing, and give and you'll have more.
That last one is my favorite.
David isn't saying that if you give someone $10, the universe is required to deposit $20 into your checking account tomorrow. He's talking about something much deeper. Giving challenges stories of scarcity. It reminds us that we have something to contribute.
As David said, “It's really hard to feel poor when you're helping or giving.”
I know this firsthand. When I hit my own financial rock bottom, I was living in my dad's spare bedroom and feeling very sorry for myself. My dad encouraged me to give. So even in the middle of my financial mess, I started giving $5 a week to a homeless shelter.
And you know what? It made me feel better. It reminded me that even when my finances weren't where I wanted them to be, I still had something to give.
Giving is good for you.
You Don't Have to Pretend You Have It All Figured Out
So what happens if you're reading this and thinking: Crap. I've already passed some of my money baggage down to my kids.
David's advice is refreshingly simple: Tell them.
Be honest.
“I used to think this.”
“I've struggled with this.”
“You know what? I don't actually know much about investing. Let's learn it together.”
As David said, kids appreciate seeing vulnerability in their parents. You don't have to position yourself as the all-knowing financial authority.
You can say: “I didn't know best, and I want you to learn from my mistakes so your life is easier than mine was.”
That kind of honesty helps remove the shame and judgment that so often surrounds money. And it gives your kids permission to talk about money too.
A Healthier Money Legacy Starts With Conversation
One of the things I love seeing with my coaching clients who have kids is the moment the light bulb comes on. As they begin recognizing their own money patterns and aligning their finances with their values, they realize:
I've inherited this from one of my parents, and I don't want to pass it down to my kids.
That's powerful. You don't need to have a perfect relationship with money before you can teach your children about it. You can learn together. You can talk about your mistakes. You can help them understand their values.
You can teach them to save, invest, spend, and give without attaching shame to those conversations. The goal isn't to raise kids who never make a money mistake. It's to help them develop a healthy relationship with money from the beginning.
A big part of my work is helping adults uncover their hidden money stories and decide whether those stories are still serving them. What I love about David's work is that he's helping families start much earlier in the process.
Instead of spending adulthood unwinding limiting beliefs about money, kids can grow up learning how to connect their money with their values, their purpose, and what truly matters to them.
**That's a powerful gift **and it's a beautiful way to pass Financial Dignity® on to the next generation.
